54 Comments

I think the assumption that self driving cars will magically be available to all when they need them is foolishly optimistic. The only way to make them safe enough is to have dedicated travel lanes -- you know, like the bike lanes Doug Ford wants to rip up in Toronto.

Based on the observable evidence, humans are incapable of planning much beyond next week and it is that inability to address reality that is the biggest threat to our survival. Perhaps this would be a good time for people to re-read Neil Postman's "Amusing Ourselves To Death?"

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AVs CAN be made to be much safer than human drivers. The question is which computer settings are chosen. I predict an aggressive setting will be chosen because the politics favor cars and mobility, so we will optimize for those, as we have for the last four generations.

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I keep wondering how well AVs will perform in Winterpeg ...

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I see you’ve met my parents

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What? Folks don’t want to have a convenient store on the corner? Frightened by a bar or cannabis shop. This is beyond NIMBY.

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I’m curious how the questions were phrased regarding the cannabis shop and whether respondents viewed it as just a question of whether they would like a new shop to pop up next store. In my state, there does not appear to be any zoning or regulation on how many cannabis shops can be within a certain area, these shops often strive for more attention-getting names and decorations, and there is plenty of money to start one but often not enough to keep it running. So ugly pot shops are probably the most recognizable business change and perhaps the thing that would stand out most to a visitor whose state doesn’t have the same phenomenon.

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Really? The generation that gave us this sprawling nightmare of a built environment wants to keep it just as it is forever and ever and ever? I'm shocked! shocked! to discover dissociation from reality going on in this establishment. UGH.

The exact thing you described here happened to my mother when she moved from our semi-walkable, public-transitable neighborhood in Vermont back to our home state of Ohio to be "near" her great grandkids. She moved into the only available subsidized apartment she could find at the time, located in a rural-industrial area with random retail services in shopping strips along a multi-lane state highway that includes no pedestrian infrastructure. The parents of the great-grandkids moved ALL the way out into the country, leaving my mom behind without a car, without company, and so disabled by rheumatoid arthritis that she could no longer walk the 1/2 mile to the local "corner store" (Dollar General) for milk. A couple months later, the grandkids found her nearly dead in her apartment, an event that set off a cascade of new medical issues, ending in her death from rapid-onset congestive heart failure a few months later.

I'm not saying her living situation killed her. There were many factors and complications. But being old and sick and lonely with very little support was a major and precipitating factor. But hey, she was "safe" from "migrant crime"!

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A hard question - Why didn't her immediate sons and daughters take her in instead have the burden on the grandkids? Was it fair to them to have that obligation thrust upon them, especially if unannounced and not wanted? Do you think that the parents were in the wrong for moving?

Was there still family left for her in VT?

We are lucky - our sons both left our area (1 is over 3 hours away, the other 1.5 hours away) but they both want us to move in with them. While Lloyd just can't seem to understand why people won't live their lives in places he approves of ("walkable communities), I certainly know what others like us, in suburban and rural areas, are refusing to move - it is THEIR friends and THEIR communities that would be taken from them. That can be almost as important as being with family.

Imagine moving to an unknown area, not knowing a soul, and having (perhaps) a mere few handful of years to replace such long-term and necessary relationships with others. It isn't just "what's close" and it isn't just "walkable" - it's the people part.

And if one can't drive, they may well not be able to walk very far, either. I know - my wife is disabled with respect to walking and has been for years. So for her, walkable communities are irrelevant. I assume that there are a lot of others in the same situation.

Self-driving cars. Being a former techie, I am amazed at how fast FSD capabilities are appearing in just the last couple/few years. With the exploding AI capabilities being trained via real time driving (e.g., Grok and Tesla, et al), I believe that it will be fairly usable in as little as 5 short years (plus or minus) in certain conditions (highways first, crowded urban areas later). So in this, I disagree heartily with Lloyd's rather dim view of AV short term horizon.

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OMG, you hit the mark on this one **BIG TIME**, Grok!

I just read an article yesterday (https://www.cnbc.com/2025/01/14/mel-robbins-3-reasons-its-hard-to-make-friends-when-youre-older.html) about why it's so hard to make friends as an adult. I recognize this happening in myself at age 53; the generational gap in socialization skills and preferences between myself and younger cohorts such as my girlfriend's nephews and nieces who are in their mid- to late-20's is immense. From music preferences to recreational choices (think online gaming vs. card playing or camping) and much more, time is not kind to us as we age—and yet, the most helpful thing we can do as we get older is to create and maintain meaningful personal relationships with our fellow human beings. Car culture has little to do with that if relocation to be closer to family (a) isn't as meaningful of a relationship that we believe exists and (b) means we rip ourselves away from the long-term friendships established over many years and decades.

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The AARP preference is staying in place, and not moving after retirement. Very different from your mom’s situation.

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As it happens, she had no place to stay because her house had been repossessed. She also didn’t “retire.” When we moved her to Vermont, she simply didn’t get hired by anyone because of ageism. AARP does some good work, but it is a lobbying organization whose agenda is not entirely wholesome and an advocacy organization very focused on upper-middle-class reality. Which is fine, but there are a LOT of old people living in poverty in this country. Even if you start out middle class, at some point you probably won’t be able to age in place anymore unless you die prematurely, so you basically have to become one of the elderly poor to be eligible for Medicaid-funded nursing care. Only wealthy people can afford to get old here.

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Sounds like the great-grandkids (what young person is typically so enamored with their elderly, frail great-grandparents that they visit them on a frequent basis?) who only popped by "months later" to discover her nearly dead aren't **really** the ones to be annoyed with but instead your beef is with their parents. This has everything to do with human relationships—namely, that of parents and child (and to a lesser extent, grandparent and grandchild)—and how we value the elderly in today's modern society.

If it was such a concern to you that your mother wasn't being looked after appropriately, why didn't YOU move to Ohio rather than leave her wellness checks to indifferent siblings? And had she been in a location where she *WASN'T* "safe from migrant crime" would that have been more of an impetus for your relatives to do wellness checks on her, or would it have been a source of unnecessary stress constantly worrying about her safety?

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In another post, I/we had that argument with "Arthur" about we all are one tribe and that we must act accordingly. My retort is that, in no way, can he place such an obligation on anyone that demands that any of us, mandatorily, must take care of others - I MUST be everyone else's Keeper.

I did respond that I AM my immediate family's keeper - both by blood and by marriage vows. Secondarily, that extends (in a much weaker state), to friends. Someone in China, not at all - nor anyone that I don't know or have an existing relationship.

I have maintained that for my family, I AM the First Responder. We still call our sons to see how they and theirs are doing. We took in our 12 year old granddaughter for almost a year as part of that (until Govt realized that they got things HORRIBLY wrong) as that was our duty and responsibility (no going into the Foster Care system for her!).

So Family is responsible for family - and yes, VB, the bonds should depend on the generational inter-links more than just lip-service.

To return to the VT to Ohio scenario. I dare say that the biggest killer of the elderly, if in part if not in whole, is Loneliness. If you find, because of your age, you find that no one, especially family, is interested in you, why be interested in Life? That can be the beginning of the end and one can slowly just fade away from emptiness.

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>>"I dare say that the biggest killer of the elderly, if in part if not in whole, is Loneliness."

I would say it's loss of purpose. So much of our identity is tied to the work we do, our credentials we earn, and the compensation that results of it—only to retire, walk away from being a contributor and existing solely as a benefactor. No work, no goals, means no purpose. Without purpose, even if you have a wide group of friends, you inevitably decline until you fail. Purpose drives us forward, it is essential to the human experience. Even if your purpose is little more than to looking forward to what tomorrow may bring, it's *something* to hang one's hat on, something to pursue.

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Shouldn't this study also apply when designing houses? For too long when designing dwellings infirmaties have been ingored to the point that most boomers are at the point where their houses do not work for them. i.e. electrical outlets too low, round door knobs are harder to grasp, stairs maybe too steep, etc.

In other words, shouldn't the building codes address this?

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Yes absolutely.

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Are you talking new houses or their existing house?

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Old houses can be retro-fitted, and if the house is going to be remodeled anyway, they should be retrofitted so that the house will be comfortable for the handicapped, the infirmed and the elderly, be it one room at a time or the whole house.

New houses should be designed and built for the handicapped, the informed, the elderly from the first.

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Good question. Once again, the ever present questions: Cost? Who pays?

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IF the house was going to be remodeled than, the homeownder. And, the cost is hard to determine, but the simple things such as raising the electrical outlets to three feet should not be cost prohibative, and certainly in new construction shouild cost no more than putting the electrical condutis at the regular height.

But if you're asking how much more it will design and/cost to design the house to those codes, then Lloyd would be the one to ask, as I'm sure he has more experience in this subject. As for my experience, I can tell you that when I was rebuilding my old farmouse, making the house multi-generational and handicapped purposed house was less expensive than one would think. All it took was repostioning elecrical outlets (as described before), switching door knobs from knobs to level did cost, but not that much. And the main reason for the rebuild was to make the house warmer and beef-up the insulation, which was no additional cost (except I should have chosesn a contractor rather than do it myself which of course would add to the cost.). So plumbing wouldn't cost more, electrical wouldn't cost more, and the rest I guess would be personal preference.

I will tell you the easiest and most cost-effective thing I did (payback was two months) was to put a timer on my hot water heater.

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The urban/suburban culture war could be resolved with just four words:

To. Each. His. Own.

Maybe I want to live in a high-rise apartment. Maybe I want to live in a single-family ranch home on an acre lot. Maybe I want something in between. Let the mix of different types of developments reflect the aggregate of individual choices.

Of course, we do need to consider if there is a level playing field. Land use and transportation choices are subject to all kinds of taxes, subsidies and regulations pulling in different directions. The retired boomer selling his suburban home will take a big hit on capital gains taxes. But that inflated property value is, in part, the result of restrictive zoning and subsidized mortgages.

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American Boomers are well aware of what they want. They just don’t want what you think they should. That doesn’t make them clueless.

Most people don’t consider nearby libraries, theaters, and bookstores to be a primary driver of where they want to live, especially in a world of Amazon and streaming. I read a LOT. I only go to the library for writers’ group meetings, and I buy my books online.

Retired people typically don’t shop and eat out as a primary source of recreation. People want to live near their friends and the communities they love, not randomly spend money for fun.

The hospitals, doctors, and specialists most people in the US use are in commercial corridors and medical parks, not neighborhoods.

Churches and community groups have “geezer transit”, and Uber exists. So do private helpers. Most of us in our sixties have helped our aging parents through this transition, and are well aware of what is and is not available. We typically have seen ten to twenty years of post-driving life with our parents.

Cleaning services and yard care are readily available and generally reasonably priced. See also, private helpers. Many of us are using them long before we become feeble.

Grocery delivery and online shopping are extensively used by ordinary older people, not just the rich. For example, WalMart is the largest grocer in the US, and has a cheap and widely used grocery delivery service.

It’s also much easier to move in a helper or housemate with a regular house, versus an apartment.

In general, no, Boomers do not want to use public transit, although private transit such as church and retiree group buses are generally well accepted by those who can’t drive.

Given that I don’t care about a walkable community or walkable nearby stores now, while I am working, why would you think I would suddenly want them when I stop driving? I shop online, and I don’t frequent coffee shops. My idea of recreation is gardening, bird watching, night sky watching, visiting friends at their homes, visiting family at their homes, going to the farmers market in my local exurb, and attending agricultural fairs and festivals.

I can do any or all of that after I stop driving with currently available local transportation resources. When and if I get too feeble to attend those, I will also be too feeble to walk about in a regular walkable community, as that’s the time to consider entering elder care.

The problem is not lack of preparation. I am prepared just fine. My grandparents died still living at home. Both of my parents died, no longer driving, still living at home. I know what is ahead. The issue appears to be that you disagree with those preferences, not lack of information or planning.

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"American Boomers are well aware of what they want. They just don’t want what you think they should. That doesn’t make them clueless."

"Immediately what came to mind was Hillary and her "deplorables" statement as well as Obama and his "bitter clingers"

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So Boomers should be striving to move in their later years to communities that don’t presently exist on a scale that would solve your complaints? But we’re clueless? M’kay.

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Yes, and supposed to move from a home that is paid for, to an expensive-as-hell retirement community. I don't guess the younger generations understand the boomers having gone through economic depression, rationing, saving up for purchases, etc. As many times as I've asked elderly people why they don't spend their retirement monies on making themselves more comfortable and safe, the answer is usually that they want to leave an inheritance to their kids. 🙄

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Yep. A lot of peoples’ goal has been to pay off the mortgage on the house they’ve personalized and adapted to their lifestyle.

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This is all eco-communist nonsense. People have a right to live in their houses to the very end, even if you are inconvenienced by that fact.

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Thank you Lloyd. In psychological terms, when we blame we are constellating 'the child' in our psyche. And the child will always find something to support it's blame.

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I wonder when people will wake up and realize we need the world population to stop growing; and the only way to make that succeed would be a fairer distribution of wealth worldwide. Housing is part of a much bigger problem!

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It has already started. Except for parts of Africa, birth rates are dropping fast. In most developed countries, discounting immigration, they are well below the replacement rate of 2.1. For instance, South Korea is at 0.8.

Be careful for what you wish for as it has so many ramifications...

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Redistribution of wealth is not something you can mandate. Also, none of the G20 nations have fertility rates at or above replacement levels (2.1) and more than 48% of the global community is now below replacement levels (Africa being the major exception.)

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"Redistribution of wealth is not something you can mandate."

Sure they can - totalitarian governments do it all the time. But it has to be done at the point of a gun in backing up the Force of Government.

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>>"Sure they can - totalitarian governments do it all the time."

And that's the PRIMARY reason why our Founding Fathers wrote the Right to Bear Arms into the Constitution as its Second Amendment, not because of a need to fend off blood-thirsty Bambis.

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Fuck this I am done with you.

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Yet one more argument in the pile that tells me I’m an outlier among my generation (as well as one more argument supporting my view that you can’t cram 75 million people into a single stereotype).

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I am an RN and used to do home health , abd had 3 elders in the family. None of the patients I’ve known has done this … nor did anyone in my family , or even of my friends families. Would have to take a further look at the study . My parents downsized , and they downsized in their sixties, to apartment living and a townhome . My dad lived with my family for 16 yrs. Nextdoor neighbors in a townhome with no lawn and many other elder neighbors in a townhome with no lawn. I downsized to a house , very small lawn , small sq footage. Friends mother lived with her for 20 + yrs. Patients lived in mobile homes, subsidized apartments , had downsized from larger homes. Of the patients who aged in place, they lived in smaller single story ranch homes.

Most people need to pull equity out of a residence - and they can’t have 2 story dwellings … number of homes with single story is insufficient so they go to aparts or mobile homes. I have had an adult son live with me… and other older people I know have their adult kids home too.

Some people want to pass their home down in the estate for tax purposes - this is the primary reason elder stays in a larger home that might no longer be suitable .

There are always reasons for peoples decisions- they’re usually financial , secondarily health, family , etc

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AARP does tend to sensationalize issues and rarely does a deep dive (or at least they don’t publish it) so this is only one part of the overall issue in our culture that doesn’t really value getting old. A better researched article is The 2030 Problem: Caring for Aging Boomers by James R. Knick man and Emily K. Snell. The article lays out constructive and strategic solutions.

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I am 60. I just bought my last car. I don’t imagine I will be driving much past 70. I become more fearful with every year and my reflexes are not improving. I told my kids this and they were shocked I thought this was my last car. I am not bothered by it. I have already given up driving more than half an hour away- trains , busses and planes for me. I am already planning for how my life will look once I stop driving. People in denial.

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