If only I could sleep on the overnight sleeper train

I always wanted to try one of these and it didn’t live up to expectations.

A flight from London to Glasgow costs as little as 21 pounds; the Caledonian Sleeper, an overnight train, ten times that. On the other hand, it is about the same cost as a night in a hotel for one person, so financially it is a wash. Where I have a choice, I try to take the low carbon route, and I have always wanted to try an overnight train; it sounded like a perfect solution.

It turns out not to be quite so perfect. First of all, there is the boarding time of 10:30; coincidentally, I could take in evening lecture on modern architecture at the Isokon, but it ended at 8:30. I zipped down the Northern Line to Euston and had two hours to kill; we take this for granted in airports but it felt different, and much longer, wandering the cold streets around the train stations.

At 10:30 I checked in at Euston and found my room. I don’t mind small rooms; the Citizen M modular hotel rooms I like to stay in are shipping container sized. These were smaller yet; about 4’-6” wide and 6’-6 long, with a bunk bed, a sink, and a small window. There’s no place to sit except on the bed; I am getting a stiff neck typing this, twisted sideways on the narrow bed. I would have liked to explore the train, but was told that the club car was closed until the train left the station.

Shortly after the train departed at 11:45, I headed to the club car, but it was already full of soccer louts who clearly were pre-charged when they got on the train. So I returned to my room and went to bed.

And this is when the trouble began. I was in the first room in the car, I believe right on top of the bogie (the wheelset), and every bump was transmitted through the steel wheels into my back. There were a lot of bumps.

There was also a lot of noise. I thought the gentle rolling of the train would lull me to sleep but there was constant banging, and I doubt I got more than three hours in total. I suspect that it is a lot better in the middle of the car, far from the wheels, but it was pretty terrible where I was.

One imagines a lovely breakfast in the club car, but even paying as much as I did for a ticket, I was not travelling Club Class, where they get a bigger bed, an ensuite bathroom and lounge access. In a “classic” room you get the room and pretty much stay in it. I ordered a continental breakfast; it came in a shopping bag and I ate it while sitting on the bed. It was tasty but generated a bag full of plastic and packaging.

Now it is approaching 7:30 AM and we are pulling into Glasgow, and I need a shower and wouldn’t mind a few hours more sleep, feeling very much like I do after an overnight flight from Toronto to London. It’s not how I imagined it would be; I thought I would arrive happy and refreshed. Perhaps it’s the state of the tracks; perhaps it is the newer Mark 5 coaches (there have been complaints that the ride is not as smooth as the old Mark 3 coaches from the 1980s). Perhaps I am just not a good solo traveller. But I expected more.

Actually, what I really expected was a good nights sleep, and that’s the one thing I didn’t get.